Why do I hate shopping more than any other thing I can waste my time with? Long story short...I hate my body. I don't like myself. I wish I was thinner, prettier, tanner, etc. But I'll never be like them, because I'm me, not some air-brushed picture that is found over this mall I'm in right now. When I shop, I'm bombarded by sizes and ideals for what beautiful and Sexy should be. It's hard to accept myself. I'll never be a size zero...not again at least. It's not worth putting my health in jeopardy to please society. But since I suffer from an eating disorder called bulimia, I can't just ignore these stereotypes. I feel like I have to please everyone, so that puts my health at risk. It makes me hate my body even more, even though I used to be a well-rounded dancer who could give a fuck about what size I wore. Unfortunately, I have lost that confidence. And now I'm trying to be something I'm not. I feel I've let everyone down because of my disorder. I have to make up for it somehow, but HOW?
